He is only waiting for the moment to humiliate you, put it with a weakness and a lazy. Sensing your weakness, he will not pretend to use it. Psychologist Arianna Oud tells how the situation of bullying arises and what can be opposed to the aggressor.
Each aggressor, regardless of what his methods, pursue one goal: to take away the other power to become the master of the situation himself.
Typically, the persecution strategy is to deprive the attacked possibility of response actions. The aggressor seeks to take the victim by surprise so that she can not do anything and thus agree with the loss of status. If the aggressor succeeds, he continues to pressure to finally affirm his superiority. Moreover, the stronger the sense of humiliation that the victim experiences, the more difficult it is to resist.
Five common scenarios in which the aggressor decides to resort to persecution:
- He is afraid to lose his job. Even if this fear is not supported by any facts, fear of failure and humiliation clouds his mind. He begins to find fault with a more successful colleague in the hope of taking attention from his own shortcomings and putting himself as a guardian of order.
- He prefers a tough style of relationships and recognizes only an open demonstration of power. He despises everyone who seems to him not noticeable, active and self -confident. To amuse pride, he chooses an inconspicuous, but effective employee and arranges for him a public “flogging”.
- He envies the successes of others. Instead of working hard on his own skills, he inserts sticks into the wheels more successful colleagues and prevents them from reaping the fruits of his labors.
- He is afraid that a more talented employee will take his place, Even if this person does not crave rivalry and does not demonstrate special ambitions. Instead of dealing with his unaccountable fears, the aggressor is trying to eliminate a colleague so that no one theoretically could encroach on his position in the company.
- He envies other people’s results. But instead of achieving the same skill as a colleague, the aggressor undermines his confidence, pushing him to failure. Now the aggressor can act as the Savior, having finished his work for his colleague and earned the praise of his superiors.
The consequences of bullying can be very difficult. Those who were abused at work are often worried that they will not be able to regain their former confidence. Capable, active and creative people become lethargic, anxious and uninitiated.
Even if your capabilities are limited, you have several options for the attack at the time of the attack. What you say and do at this time can both confirm the aggressor in his right to torment you with impunity, and neutralize him.